Dennis M. Ayotte, Jr. is La Prensa's resident Writer-at-large with many of his own MAN issues. Follow his column as his shares his tales of success, his failures, insecurities, unique views on life and occasional rants.
S.A..- Dennis M. Ayotte, Jr. is La Prensa's resident Writer-at-large with many of his own MAN issues. Follow his column as his shares his tales of success, his failures, insecurities, unique views on life and occasional rants.
A men’s public bathroom is like library in the sense that you just don’t talk and you don’t want to have to be in there longer than you have to. However, there are cases when you get “Chatty Cathy,” so the following are things you never say or ask a stranger in the men’s room.
Want to race?
Why is your urinal taller than mine?
Could you take a look at this?
I’ve been thinking about free-balling, would you recommend it?
Oh it burns.
Man, it’s so nice to be out of prison, public restrooms are much cleaner.
My wife says these pants are too “old man,” and that my rear-end sags, what do you think?
Did you have steak for lunch?
“I'm A Barbie girl in the Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic. You can brush my hair, Undress me everywhere. Imagination, life is your creation…I’m a Barbie girl”
Who are you voting for this year? Should we re-elect Obama?
Careful, I have bad aim.
Could you hold this for me?
Is it true that elephants have the best memory of all animals and can find their way back anywhere?
Is your toilet seat cold?
Oh, so you’re Jewish?
Man, chili was a bad choice for lunch.
Class of ’99, huh?
She said I could use a couple inches what do you think?
Does this look like I need to get this checked out?
Do you shave down there?
Can I bum a cigarette?
Is it gay if I shave down there?
Yesterday I ate too much chilé, move over.
Do you smell that?
It was me.
I wonder how Stephen Hawking does it?
No one order the enchiladas, I’m going to explode.
Beep beep, coming through, there’s a rumble down under.
I'm coming up so you better get this party started.
Boxers or brief?
Can we share?
Is there room in there for me?
If Train A was traveling at 60 mph for a 20 mile distance and Train B was traveling at 100 mph for a five mile distance who would get to point C first?
Did you hear about Lindsay Lohan?
Is this too close?
I noticed your watch said 7:30 p.m., is that off because I have 7:38 p.m.?
I wonder what he ate?
Can you show me how to send this picture message?
If you’ve ever uttered any of the above mentioned lines, you should be ashamed of yourself. Get in the restroom and out, no one wants to talk to a complete stranger or hear about how your day has gone.