Dennis M. Ayotte, Jr. is La Prensa's resident Writer-at-large with many of his own MAN issues. Follow his column as his shares his tales of success, his failures, insecurities, unique views on life and occasional rants.
Back in the day, asking a girl out was simple. All you had to do was slip a note over with the words “circle yes or no” sometimes you’d throw in a “maybe” if you knew your chances weren’t that great. I did.
But then we grow up and dating gets tricky—you need a car, a checking account, a job and your own place—those kind of things. Women want someone who is responsible, someone with goals. Damn.
But the part I’m talking about is before you even get to that point. Before you know anything about them and just want to ask her out. The hardest part of all is asking and putting yourself out there. Nobody likes to be rejected but then again how will you know if you never ask. You don’t, you just assume then that assumption ends up being your downfall. You either go in with little or no confidence at all. This is where most guys fail.
It would be nice if the girl did all the work but unfortunately with live in a society that doesn’t work like that. It’s all about the dude in America, and I don’t see it changing anytime soon. So, what can you do that you don’t end up on a dating website at age 40.
Come back to reality. Reality is she is not that hot. Relax. Unless she’s the Britney Spears from 1999 who was dancing around in a school-girl uniform for her “…Baby One More Time” video don’t sweat it. Unless she’s way out of your league she’s just as nervous and flattered you decided to go for it.
Be yourself. Avoid cheesy pick-up lines. “Hi, my name is”…works just fine. Don’t let your buddies persuade you otherwise, telling a female that “If a fat man puts you in a bag tonight, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas,” is unacceptable. Just state your name, why you approached her and hope for the best.
Be confident. Women are like dogs, they can sense fear. Maybe that’s not the best analogy but what I’m saying is that women are attracted to a man that has confidence. I’m not an expert, but that’s one thing I do know. Go into the situation knowing your strengths and worry about your weaknesses later. Carry yourself with a controlled confidence and don’t be that guy. If you drive a BMW, cool, but that shouldn’t be the fourth word that comes out of your mouth.
All this is quite simple but there is a reason you might still be single, so identify that first then proceed.